Dating in Your 40’s (Well, almost!!)

Everyone knows how hard it is to date. But it’s even harder to date when your almost forty but still feel like you are in your twenties. When you’re young at heart, but stable in a career.

I have tried my best (keyword=try) in the past to only date someone in my age range, give or take a couple of years. I thought that he would have a similar type of goals and lifestyle choices as me. There has been some that were ready to move to fast to marriage, and some that were not interested in anything than one night stands. Or the lack of relatable conversations.

But as I’ve gotten older I have been less than social. Only going out in a group setting, and sticking with whom and where I was familiar with. This, I understand now, has hindered my ability to meet new people and romantic interest.  I have also realized I have less time and energy to meet people in clubs and still have functional energy at the work the next day. Don’t get me wrong, I still love to go out and “dance it out” at a club every once and awhile. But with my crazy work schedule I don’t get to shake it that often.


I have tried many ways of meeting some new friends. I have gone to a club crawl with Meetup. I have met one friend from that group. But we both have crazy schedules and it’s hard to have time to hang out. I’ve attended a couple of free classes through the site as well. But I’m either the oldest person there, or at times, the most “non- awkward”.

I’m trying to get the courage to attend a speed dating meet-up. You can see the profile pictures of the people that have confirmed. Some have not peaked my interest, and the ones that do are the host. I usually RSVP at least a week prior, then get cold feet either the day before or the day of an cancel.

I will try to bite the bullet and attempt a social meet-up and keep everyone posted.

Gym Rat

I know many people that have met their match in the gym. It may be the circulation of pheromones in the confined spaces of the gym. The glistening skin of the opposite sex trying their best to slim down, beef up or maintain. Or just the excellent and acceptable opportunity to just people watch while on the elliptical machine.

I’m always self conscious, being a plus size woman in the gym.  “Yes, I’m here to lose weight”. “Yes, I have noticed how fit you are”. “No, I’m not staring at you while you’re pressing weights. Well, maybe a little”. And the dreaded, when you do get in a good paced cardio on the elliptical machine. “Just don’t fall, just don’t fall. Not again.”

Now I make plans to go the gym when it’s less crowed. This is so I will know I don’t have to try to find another machine to occupy my time until an elliptical machine become available.

I will also post pictures of great workout outfit subscriptions I have joined.


A Journey To Finding My Style

I know there are many blogs out there devoted to fashion, very few plus size ones get recognized in this saturated niche. Most of the blogs I have come across have great fashion ideas and styles, but most have large unrealistic price tags to go with it.

I’m hoping that my blog will show that a plus size woman can look fabulous and sexy without making her wallet feel strained and tired.

I’m not claiming to be an expert on fashion. I’m still in the process of finding “my style”. During this blogging of trial and error, I won’t regret buying that statement piece that I probably won’t wear again. I have done that in the past with very cute pieces that looked great the first time around, but never had the opportunity to wear it again due to my fluctuating weight.

So, let’s get into size.

I’m currently a size 18. I am a very tall, very busty woman (40H), so finding the proper outfit that is flattering all around and doesn’t  make me look like I don’t have the flattering curves is hard. I get frustrated, a lot. Most stores that cater to  plus size woman are not available at all shopping centers. There are times I would have to travel more than 15 miles off my usual path to find something modern and fashionable. Lane Bryant, Avenue, City Chic and Mode Plus are the most popular stores to walk into and try to find something that may look good. But not every plus size woman is shaped the same. Lane Bryant and Avenue seem to be the style of the soccer mom or a grandmother. While Mode Plus is geared toward the plus size teen, but seem to be just clothing that was tossed aside from the defective production line. I have purchased many cute outfits there, to have the buttons fall off during the first wear. This is what happens when you try to save on fashion on the fly. I have learned to not rush a style. Maybe waiting that 5-7 business days for something that will last is the way to go.

Now, lets talk about style.

I can honestly say I don’t have a particular style, yet. I usually go out and find something that looks cute as well as comfortable. At times, durability was never a factor I considered. Now that I’m older and need business attire more frequently, I’m ready for something that will make me feel sexy without showing all the goods.  In the past couple of years I have either purchased clothes for my waitress uniforms (basic black pants and white button up shirt) when I had a gig, or occasionally purchase something to wear for a night out dancing.

Now I work in an grown up office environment, where style and comfort should come hand in hand. There are some outfits displayed in the office environment that looks good when you’re strutting to the water cooler in your stilettos, but are removed as soon as your blistered feet and balancing act needs a rest at your cubicle.

If i were say I had a particular office clothing style, I would say I like the fashionable school teacher look. Pinterest has given me many inspirations to pull that look off successfully.

Then the most important thing to discuss is a budget.

I work hard to live well. I shouldn’t have to pay so much to look good. I decided to experiment with, What if I had $100 a month to spend on clothes. There is no reason to look like you bought your clothes from the picked over sales rack. I do happen to walk straight in the back of the store and work my way to front. Shoppers tend to purchases the first thing they see and then stroll to the rear until they complete an outfit. The items in the back of the store are not as popular, so you will rock that individuality without having to hunt so far.

I have worn outfits that I have purchased completely from a sales rack and received compliments and inquiries on where I bought it. When I say I bought this dress at Target, some tilt their head and try to recall if they noticed the dress the last time they were there.

Always remember, the sales rack is the forgotten treasures that may have sold out quickly in smaller sizes. This is one of the major advantages of being plus size shopper in a non-standard plus size store. But Target is now expanding on the sizes offered and is now offering their own plus size line, Ava & Viv.

Sometimes splurge, you deserve it.

It could be daunting to constantly scavenger and try to find the great fit and style on the rack. Sometimes, you may have realized that the great fit and style is out there online, but there isn’t a store near by to access it. Then it’s time to give in and spend a little more for something that fits great.

Amazon has been a life saver in a pinch, especially with Prime.

Keep checking back as I try all these methods to find my style.

Hello world, Are you as ready as I am?

There are many reasons to start a blog. The most common is do so as a new years resolution. I don’t believe that since it’s a new year, it a new reason to pick up new hobbies.

I maybe bias because of my current circumstances. I’m starting this blog because it’s about time to document me finding me. This may include all my current hobbies and adventures I have planned and all the crazy adventures that may surprise me along the way. Even though this is a new year (or almost the end of a year), things have happened to in the first 2 months alone that has created a new beginning for me.

Join me along my journey to learn new skills, explore new places and finding myself along the way.

In the next 12 months I have:

  • Became single, again, and loving it.
  • Comfortable in a career that I have had ups and downs in.
  • Am not longer a parent of a teenager, but a parent of a striving adult.
  • Planning journeys beyond what’s in my backyard.

Come along with me and read my stories. I hope you enjoy learning about me as I do.